Fall snapshot

It's after midnight and I have school tomorrow, but I made the exceedingly wise decision of drinking a full huge bottle of dark black tea from trader Joes, so I'm up whether I like it or not. Some updates on my life:
-I'm auditioning for the regional band day after tomorrow and Ive only looked at half the audition piece, so at this point I'm just going to wing it. First concertino in e flat? More like... the sax riff from thrift shop. Yeahhhh....
-all As on my first semester!! Savoring the feeling while it lasts.
-I have one hundred percent made up my mind that bard college in Annandale on Hudson is the promised land and that I will attend even if I have to sacrifice my firstborn. I ordered the book that bards president, Leon botstein, wrote (Jefferson's children) and I cannot WAIT for it to arrive.
-I'm sad because I haven't posted any reviews recently (sorry for the excess of art) but I will get back to that asap.

Anyways, I found these pictures in my phone-- I took them a couple weeks ago when the weather was still temperate enough to go walking around town. Autumn is my favorite season hands down. The colors are so beautiful and vibrant and you get to wear sweaters and it has an air of creativity and studiousness about it. What I really like though is that the whole season is a celebration of sorts. You have these fall foods and this happy fall feeling, like the whole season you're rejoicing just because. I hate holidays where theres so much suspense, and then the actual day is anti-climactic because you've built up so much to it(christmas, im looking at you)

Theres also a dark irony in fall though-when you think about it, its a season of death, and yet we consider it one of the most beautiful times of the year. It's like nature is putting everything it has, all of its beauty and life, out there in one big finale before its all frozen and dies.

So ill try to do some actual posts soon, and sorry for the lack of punctuation and overall legibility of this post- I'm writing on my phone and my thumbs are disproportional to the keypad.

10 Bookish (And Not So Bookish) Thoughts

Ten Bookish(And Not so Bookish) Thoughts is a weekly blogging event hosted by Bookishly Boisterous.

Ever since I started sophomore year I've had less and less time for reading/watching tv, etc. so there hasn't been much to review. I thought it would be a good time to do a couple memes and such just to keep myself actively blogging-- so here goes!

1.) Yes, I am STILL reading We The Drowned by Carsten Jensen. It's an amazing book, but also like five or six hundred pages, so it's a bit of a project. So far I'm really enjoying it! I feel like it's going to be one heck of a book review when I finally finish it.

2.) The new show on Fox, Sleepy Hollow, is actually pretty good?? I wasn't really expecting much from a drama about a colonial time-traveler and a sassy black cop and the apocalypse, but I've been enjoying it a lot. The characters are relatable and the story moves along well, although it has a bit of a villain-of-the-week feel right now. Sometimes the cinematography is a little reminiscent of someone who's just found new software that they're playing around with, but I can see it going places. Tom Mison and his mussy ponytail doesn't hurt either.

I sort of feel the need to watch the movie now?

3.) I've rediscovered my love for Mushi-shi. I watched it a year or two ago, and never even got through the full season, but I'm so glad I found it again because hands down it is the best anime I have ever watched. Every single frame is just pure art, and the story is poetic and contemplative. The show is sort of like a book of short stories-- each episode the characters, setting, and conflict are all different, but after you always come away with something to think about.... that sort of sad and yet content feeling you get from really great stories. It's so artful and creative and just plain out of the box, I need everyone to go watch it right now. 

4.) Battle of the Year is a strong contender for Worst Movie I've Ever Watched. I went to see it at a party, and literally I just couldn't even. It doesn't merit a proper review. Basically it was 50% cheesy inspirational speeches, 20% badly choreographed dances, and 30% zoom shots of Josh Peck gazing thoughtfully into the distance. The only good thing about it was Mah Boi D-Trix.

....and Chris Brown's intense stares.

5.) Agnes Obel's new album came out eeeep! It's called Aventine  and I have mixed feeling about it. I kind of half dread whenever and artist/filmmaker/author I like comes out with something new, because I feel like it will never be better than the original work... I think partly because I've already devoted myself to the original work, and it's been made better by my good memories of it. (Case in point- Hayao Miyazaki) So right now I don't think Aventine  is as good as Philharmonics, but I may come around. I like Dorian and The Curse, but I find that most of the songs have this sort of muddled sound as opposed to the clear piano riffs of Philharmonics-there's less to grasp onto. 

6.) People really need to start saying Autumn instead of fall- Autumn is far prettier and the word is more reminiscent of the season. To me, fall just sounds tacky. And yet I still find myself saying it. *sighs*

7.) Grades closed for progress reports today. That means I was up all last night making up the work I was too lazy to do when it was actually due : / But I've been getting good grades as I promised myself I would, so I'm not worried. I made a deal with my dad that he would get me a translation of the Tao te Ching if I got straight As, and I'm looking forward to a little more taoism in my life. It's weird that the school year is already and eighth of the way through, though. It feels like it's just begun.

8.) I've reached new levels of obsession with Wellesley College. I visited the campus this summer and it was love at first sight-- the stone architecture, the rolling hills and green every which way you looked. I was literally thinking how I felt like Juliet there when I saw a girl in a white dress sitting on a balcony. Just.. I'm completely and utterly enamored. I love that it's smaller, that it's all-girls, that it has such a supportive community. I need to go there and I need to to go there now. So I've been compulsively researching everything about it, and it's officially on my vision board.

9.) We've been doing a short story unit in English that I'm enjoying like crazy. Actually, I'm enjoying the class in general like crazy. I have a great teacher this year who's very prone to holding Socratic discussions, which is to my benefit since I literally can't keep my mouth shut about anything English related. But we've read Cathedral, The Occurence at Owl Creek Bridge, A and P, The Cask of Amontillado, and most of Jhumpa Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies. I've been having so much fun interpreting and analyzing the stories-- maybe I'll do some posts about them if I feel like it. 

10.) I've made the resolution to get back into creative writing, which I'm really excited about. Hopefully I can get some work posted online and I think I'll try for a few competitions. 

Until next time!

Weekend Philosophy Purchases

Take me to brunch and I'll order a small salad. Take me to fifth avenue and I'll be content to browse. But take me to Barnes and Noble and prepare for all hell to break loose. And Barnes and Noble is where I somehow ended up twice this weekend...so as you can probably figure, my book hoarding side came out to play. The first time was after seeing the Great Gatsby with my friend (awesome movie btw, I need to read the book so bad now) and being the awkward nerdy fashionista hipsters we are, we ended up spending an hour and a half in the isles of the book store, gushing over the classics and comparing cover designs (that's the publisher's daughter coming out in me). 

My dog is camera shy ;) On my first trip I bought The Prince and Other Writings by Machiavelli. It's part of the Barnes and Noble classics line, which they sell for six dollars; it seems to be a pretty good deal to me, considering the quality is pretty nice. And I like cheap books better than pristine hardcovers; I'm a compulsive hiliter/stickynoter, and I decided to stick with cheapies after a frenzy of hiliting in my first-edition signed Mark Helprin book(ok it deserved it though, I honestly hate that guy's writing) I like the cover design too. They keep it simple but tasteful, and I have a weakness for sage green.

My second trip to Barnes and Noble was just a couple hours ago, when i was driving back from the Cape and Islands sailing tournament (I got a sunburn meh). I managed to lure my mother in with the promise of starbucks, then trapped her in the philosophy section.

(excuse the awkwardly placed pictures of my dog)

Anyways, she caved into buying me this adorable edition called Philosophy; A Graphic Guide to The History of Thinking by Dave Robinson and Judy Groves. It's basically a graphic novel of the history of philosophy, but it presents all the ideas and philosophers in a witty and matter-of-fact way, using speech bubbles to highlight (hi-lite?) main ideas. I wanted just a general guide for reference, which I didn't get with Thirty Second Philosophies  by Barry Loewer. 

The Essential Nietzche WHY IS HIS NAME SO HARD TO SPELL i less bought and more found on my shelf, but i'm excited to read it. I guess I've always been a philosophical person, and it probably just came off as childish curiosity before (Daddy, what if we're all in a dream of someone else?), but since I got into highschool I've defined my interest more, and am trying to read as much as I can on philosophy and religion. My school is definitely very supportive of philosophical thought; it's all about learning how to think, and in junior and senior year there's a mandatory philosophy class. I'll come back with book reviews in due time!

P.S. Something to be explored further in an independent post, but I really hate e-books and amazon. It annoys me to death when my mom says that "We can order that on Amazon for less." Yes, Barnes and Noble may be a giant corporation, but Borders' closing scared me, and I want to support this store as much as I can, because it encourages reading by being placed in spots like malls, where normal people might wander in and buy something. If Barnes and Noble were to close, I think that people, especially my age, would probably read a lot less, since they would be a lot less likely to seek out independent book stores or used book shops. 

The Scenic Route (Please Vote!)

The Seventeen Magazine short story contest deadline is fast approaching(the 13th) so I figured it was prime time to whip up a little five hundred word confection. The link to the page where you can heart this is http://figment.com/books/539860-The-Scenic-Route A heart counts for a vote, so please heart heart heart away and get your friends to heart as well- I win quite a bit of moolah if I get the most votes :) BTW

Can I just say that shaving a story down to 500 words from 548 is the most frustrating process I have ever had to go through. I was literally about to throw my computer out the window. Along with my dog if she kept breathing on me. ANYHOO I titled it "The Scenic Route".

I was an overachiever: the worst kind. The kind that's forced into it. My mom wasn't; she played hooky during  high school, opting for rides in rich boys' cars, outings with people now famous, and  adventures that are the stuff of stories. 

But that's all she has now, those stories. Those stories to tell at the dinner table, to guests on holidays. So I can understand; she wants me to have what she didn't after youth is gone. I want that too, but not like this. Not with the constant tightness in my chest reminding me I'm not good enough. I feel as a hiker would, climbing the steepest of mountains and being unable to see the peak. Do they keep ascending, never to reach their destination, or do they turn back and live with the regret of  having given up on all their work? Neither option appeals to me. 

And so now I look at the contest forms on the wall, the e-mails open in my inbox. I look to the pens and journals stacked under more important papers, the words, lyrics, verses in them drowned out by the concise statements of documents. I look to the dust-coated keys of my piano, not stroked for so long because the imperfect chords and melodies they sing have no place on my resume. And lastly I look to my pin board, and the pictures I displayed there. The verdant greens of forest trails, the muted blue seascapes. Quotes from poets  long gone, their words still alive in my mind. Backwoods cottages tucked away in the moss. 

These places I have never been, these people I have never met. But others have, which means these aren't dreams, but realities. They could be my reality, too, if I work for them. And I want to. 

It's not that I don't want to achieve; I do. When I see an A on my paper, I can't help but be proud. I want to enter contests, I want to win. But so easily an A can turn into "not an A+", an entry can turn into "not good enough to win". What were positives in my eyes turn to negatives in those of my mother. She sees the empty space instead of what is there. 

I don't know how to please her; I'm not sure I ever will. But I have figured out how to please myself. I neither want to continue climbing straight up the mountain or take the easy road back down. What I want is to take the scenic route. I want to forget about the peak and enjoy the mountain itself. I want to travel along those richly-hued forest paths, I want to look out and see the blue of the ocean. I want to come to understand those quotes I know by heart, and I want to be able to stay awhile at a little stone cottage amid the moss. I want to enjoy my life as I live it.